How is Your Relationship with Food?

I discussed this topic with clients in Body Image group last week, and I was met with A LOT of resistance.  Not because they didn't like the question per say, but because it brings up a lot of emotional 'baggage' that many clients in residential eating disorder treatment are just not ready to process.

But I gotta say, I find this question fascinating!  I originally connected this idea after reading the chapter "It's Not About the Food" from the book 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder (written by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb).  After asking the reader 'How is your relationship with food?' the next paragraph followed:

"Your approach to both food and relationships will have similarities because of your temperament and who you are.  Think for a minute about how you are with food.  Are you cautious?  Are you bold?  Do you try to be in control?  Do you fear you will never get enough?  Now ask yourself if this is similar to your relationship with others." (pg. 81)

 

 

Even as a dietitian for the past 7 (almost 8) years, these questions STILL caught me by surprise!  A relatively simple concept [bridging relationships between food and other areas of your life] was NEVER discussed in my medical nutrition therapy courses.  But once I read it, I immediately had a "well, DUH!" response internally.  How could I not see the similarities?  OF COURSE how you show up with others is going to mirror how you show up in your own life. 

 

And while this may come as a surprise to those not working in the mental health field, most of my clients with eating disorders aren't really concerned with the food.  Sure, that's how these mental illness show up externally, but there are waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy more layers than meets the eye.  For example,  a client who is naturally rigid and desires control in their life, may start being rigid and controlling their food intake.  A client who authentically feels emotionally strained in their personal or work relationships, may then desire to restrict/binge/purge to avoid emotions.  If a client was neglected by a parent or experienced any sort of physical, emotional, or sexual trauma, food might be their only comfort OR aversion.  (These are very basic examples, but you can see the parallels). 

 

 

Whether you struggle with disordered eating, have a diagnosed eating disorder, or feel you eat fairly intuitively or "normally" - I believe these types of curious questions are great to ask yourself at any time (especially if you're experiencing a strong emotion; positive or negative in nature).  

 

I'll leave you with the definition of "Normal Eating" from the Ellyn Satter institute.  It really breaks it down that normal eating is FLEXIBLE.  There is NOT a one-size-fits-all eating plan that works for EVERYONE...hence why *DIETS**DON'T**WORK*.  No Weight Watchers or Keto or Atkins or Beachbody (or Any other diet plan) will ever be individualized enough to meet the natural variety of needs our bodies present with.  Your relationship with food - just like your relationship with others - is both personal and unique to you.

 

 



 

**If you do find that you are struggling with food rules, negative body image, or are unable to be flexible with eating patterns - please seek out an eating disorder medical provider (Psychiatrist, Therapist, Dietitian, or other Mental Health counselor).