The first time I ever tried meditation (in 2013), I HATED IT!
I was in my yoga teacher training, and could not wrap my head around why I (or anyone for that matter) would want to sit still with their own thoughts for any period of time. During training, I couldn't even get through our pranayama (breath work) or meditation intensives without uncontrollably giggling, (which today makes me so embarrassed to admit). But nevertheless, I got through this portion of yoga teacher training, and went on my merry way leading yoga classes in a number of different settings for about 2 1/2 years (with some breaks along the way due to pregnancy).
When I moved to Minnesota in 2017 for my dream dietitian job, I was heartbroken to give up teaching yoga classes regularly in Iowa. I felt I had finally found my community of like-minded people, and it took a lot of soul searching to give this up for the potential of something greater. Since I've been in Minnesota, I haven't formally taught in a studio setting, but I HAVE occasionally gotten to cover for our residential yoga classes which I'm absolutely grateful for.
But initially, my position was an outpatient eating disorder dietitian - which I jumped headfirst into with all my time and energy. I was excited to be living out a dream of mine, but for a number of reasons I won't get into here, I started experiencing high levels of stress. So much so, that I would have panic attacks anywhere - walking down the stairs at work, in a bathroom, in the middle of the night...and I knew something REALLY wasn't right when I experienced full fledged panic in the middle of Target. My symptoms were both physical and emotional - my arms would go numb, my legs felt like jelly; I experienced headaches, heart palpitations, and I was just overcome with a sense of doom and gloom all the time.
All of this confused me - HOW was I so stressed, and feeling moments of depression/anxiety in a situation I've always DREAMED of being in?! Well...the answer came from a wise supervisor who answered this question for me: "The body doesn't know the difference between 'good' stress or 'bad' stress." Basically, my body was experiencing all the changes in my life (while many of them positive) in a very reactive way. And while I can't remember exactly where I got the idea to pick up a copy and read Eat, Pray, Love, I'm thankful I did. I felt the author (Elizabeth Gilbert) was speaking directly to my soul. Here was a person with a successful career and marriage who also felt utterly lost in the world for what she felt was "no apparent reason." This sparked her self-discovery journey on a year-long expedition to Italy, India, and Indonesia to (you guessed it) eat, pray, and find love.
Now of course I didn't have the means to take a year-long hiatus from work, but reading the first few chapters (or maybe it was the prologue) on why it's okay to ask for help via therapy &/or medication, I was able to get the courage to talk to my doctor. I started an antidepressant after being off of them for 9 years. I went to therapy for a few sessions, (but didn't really connect with that provider. My advice - shop around for someone you resonate with)! And as I kept reading further into the book, I started to dabble in meditation.
Yes - the crazy skeptic finally gave meditation a try...AGAIN. And at first I really, really struggled. To be honest, I probably still hated it. But the millions of people who swear by it couldn't be wrong, could they???
So I kept with it. I wasn't a daily practitioner by any means, but on some days I'd try 5 minutes...then 10...I even got up to 20-30 minutes on occasion of JUST. SITTING. Sometimes I'd try guided meditations, other days I used soft meditative music. And it wasn't until I reflected in hindsight that it actually WASN'T terrible. I couldn't believe I was thinking or saying this, but I actually looked forward to this quiet time I had with my (still crazy) thoughts. I started doing a more deep dive into meditation - reading books about its history and those who practice it - I listened to podcasts and read all the information I could get my hands on. I downloaded apps to help my practice (I prefer Insight Timer or Calm, but I'll list a few others below)....basically I became "all in."
Now fast forward to 2020 - I made it an intention at the beginning of the year to continue my self-reflection from 2019; doing more self-care and introspection. At the end of January I found out that Calm was offering a year FREE of their premium subscription to healthcare practitioners so I jumped at the chance. It took a few emails back and forth to get the right gift code, but once I joined I made a commitment to myself to try and keep up a daily practice (my previous streak was only 4-5 days); doing anywhere between 5-15 minutes per day.
Up until a few days ago, I had kept that streak up for 35 days! (An entertaining night of social distancing with with work pals and long-distance friends caused the break in my routine...but I feel the 5 hours of therapeutic release was worth it). ;-)
How do I feel after a month straight of meditation and deep breathing? About the same...but also slightly different. I'm definitely not here to say that meditation will cure your anger issues or be the ailment to all your worries or problems. But it CAN assist you in pausing during difficult emotions; taking a deep breath when you're stressed. Or maybe you are able to hold your tongue the next time your temper flares; you start to see those anxious thoughts DON'T overtake your entire day...these perceived small benefits are actually big wins. I also don't have the space on this small blog to lay out all the research regarding health benefits of stress management, but that's another big plus on why you should (or at least try to) meditate.
Need some advice on how to start? When I'm talking to my clients about mindfulness, I honestly tell them to pick a favorite song (doesn't even have to be a calm or slow track) - and just sit, breathe, and focus on the lyrics. THAT'S meditation. You'll notice your mind wanders off....that's the human experience. The goal when meditating isn't to have your mind "shut off" completely - because that is impossible. The "goal" (if we can truly call it that) of a practice is to learn how to be present without judgement. I don't think I've ever had a meditative experience where I'm 100% focused on "nothing." But I will say I've have had sparks or brief moments of what I can only describe as "bliss"....but most of the time it's just me wrangling my thoughts like they're a screaming toddler and practicing acceptance.
Need tangible recommendations? Below are just a few apps available in the Apple store - Calm, Headspace, Smiling Mind, Insight Timer, and Stop, Breathe + Think. I've also heard about Ten Percent Happier through their podcast, but haven't personally used. My favorites are Insight timer or Calm, but if you search 'meditation' in your search bar you will find so may different options.
What's great about meditation (like yoga) is that you don't need anything except your own body to practice. You don't even have to sit - you can lay down in any comfortable position; or there are walking meditation guides out there, among a number of other innovative ways to connect to your breath. There's also 'right or wrong' in whether you open or close your eyes...it's really whatever is right for you in that moment.
So like I mentioned in the title, what is your brain like on meditation? Well, I encourage you to read the following article links from Yoga Journal and Mindful, but the graphic below from Psychology Today also gives a nice visual for those of you short on time. Basically, the pre-frontal cortex is stimulated by mindfulness activities (like meditation and yoga) resulting in a number of positive effects mentally and emotionally.
When I moved to Minnesota in 2017 for my dream dietitian job, I was heartbroken to give up teaching yoga classes regularly in Iowa. I felt I had finally found my community of like-minded people, and it took a lot of soul searching to give this up for the potential of something greater. Since I've been in Minnesota, I haven't formally taught in a studio setting, but I HAVE occasionally gotten to cover for our residential yoga classes which I'm absolutely grateful for.
But initially, my position was an outpatient eating disorder dietitian - which I jumped headfirst into with all my time and energy. I was excited to be living out a dream of mine, but for a number of reasons I won't get into here, I started experiencing high levels of stress. So much so, that I would have panic attacks anywhere - walking down the stairs at work, in a bathroom, in the middle of the night...and I knew something REALLY wasn't right when I experienced full fledged panic in the middle of Target. My symptoms were both physical and emotional - my arms would go numb, my legs felt like jelly; I experienced headaches, heart palpitations, and I was just overcome with a sense of doom and gloom all the time.
All of this confused me - HOW was I so stressed, and feeling moments of depression/anxiety in a situation I've always DREAMED of being in?! Well...the answer came from a wise supervisor who answered this question for me: "The body doesn't know the difference between 'good' stress or 'bad' stress." Basically, my body was experiencing all the changes in my life (while many of them positive) in a very reactive way. And while I can't remember exactly where I got the idea to pick up a copy and read Eat, Pray, Love, I'm thankful I did. I felt the author (Elizabeth Gilbert) was speaking directly to my soul. Here was a person with a successful career and marriage who also felt utterly lost in the world for what she felt was "no apparent reason." This sparked her self-discovery journey on a year-long expedition to Italy, India, and Indonesia to (you guessed it) eat, pray, and find love.
Now of course I didn't have the means to take a year-long hiatus from work, but reading the first few chapters (or maybe it was the prologue) on why it's okay to ask for help via therapy &/or medication, I was able to get the courage to talk to my doctor. I started an antidepressant after being off of them for 9 years. I went to therapy for a few sessions, (but didn't really connect with that provider. My advice - shop around for someone you resonate with)! And as I kept reading further into the book, I started to dabble in meditation.
Yes - the crazy skeptic finally gave meditation a try...AGAIN. And at first I really, really struggled. To be honest, I probably still hated it. But the millions of people who swear by it couldn't be wrong, could they???
So I kept with it. I wasn't a daily practitioner by any means, but on some days I'd try 5 minutes...then 10...I even got up to 20-30 minutes on occasion of JUST. SITTING. Sometimes I'd try guided meditations, other days I used soft meditative music. And it wasn't until I reflected in hindsight that it actually WASN'T terrible. I couldn't believe I was thinking or saying this, but I actually looked forward to this quiet time I had with my (still crazy) thoughts. I started doing a more deep dive into meditation - reading books about its history and those who practice it - I listened to podcasts and read all the information I could get my hands on. I downloaded apps to help my practice (I prefer Insight Timer or Calm, but I'll list a few others below)....basically I became "all in."
Now fast forward to 2020 - I made it an intention at the beginning of the year to continue my self-reflection from 2019; doing more self-care and introspection. At the end of January I found out that Calm was offering a year FREE of their premium subscription to healthcare practitioners so I jumped at the chance. It took a few emails back and forth to get the right gift code, but once I joined I made a commitment to myself to try and keep up a daily practice (my previous streak was only 4-5 days); doing anywhere between 5-15 minutes per day.
Up until a few days ago, I had kept that streak up for 35 days! (An entertaining night of social distancing with with work pals and long-distance friends caused the break in my routine...but I feel the 5 hours of therapeutic release was worth it). ;-)
How do I feel after a month straight of meditation and deep breathing? About the same...but also slightly different. I'm definitely not here to say that meditation will cure your anger issues or be the ailment to all your worries or problems. But it CAN assist you in pausing during difficult emotions; taking a deep breath when you're stressed. Or maybe you are able to hold your tongue the next time your temper flares; you start to see those anxious thoughts DON'T overtake your entire day...these perceived small benefits are actually big wins. I also don't have the space on this small blog to lay out all the research regarding health benefits of stress management, but that's another big plus on why you should (or at least try to) meditate.
Need some advice on how to start? When I'm talking to my clients about mindfulness, I honestly tell them to pick a favorite song (doesn't even have to be a calm or slow track) - and just sit, breathe, and focus on the lyrics. THAT'S meditation. You'll notice your mind wanders off....that's the human experience. The goal when meditating isn't to have your mind "shut off" completely - because that is impossible. The "goal" (if we can truly call it that) of a practice is to learn how to be present without judgement. I don't think I've ever had a meditative experience where I'm 100% focused on "nothing." But I will say I've have had sparks or brief moments of what I can only describe as "bliss"....but most of the time it's just me wrangling my thoughts like they're a screaming toddler and practicing acceptance.
Need tangible recommendations? Below are just a few apps available in the Apple store - Calm, Headspace, Smiling Mind, Insight Timer, and Stop, Breathe + Think. I've also heard about Ten Percent Happier through their podcast, but haven't personally used. My favorites are Insight timer or Calm, but if you search 'meditation' in your search bar you will find so may different options.
What's great about meditation (like yoga) is that you don't need anything except your own body to practice. You don't even have to sit - you can lay down in any comfortable position; or there are walking meditation guides out there, among a number of other innovative ways to connect to your breath. There's also 'right or wrong' in whether you open or close your eyes...it's really whatever is right for you in that moment.
So like I mentioned in the title, what is your brain like on meditation? Well, I encourage you to read the following article links from Yoga Journal and Mindful, but the graphic below from Psychology Today also gives a nice visual for those of you short on time. Basically, the pre-frontal cortex is stimulated by mindfulness activities (like meditation and yoga) resulting in a number of positive effects mentally and emotionally.
Or if you're a science nerd like me, he's a more wordy explanation:
And the best part? There are literally ZERO negative side effects from implementing a mindfulness and meditation practice (Except maybe being stiff after sitting still for a longer period than normal). ;-) But this, too, also subsides with some practice.
So whether you're a skeptic like my younger self, or feel "all-in" with this idea, I encourage you to give meditation a try! You might be surprised by how calm (or maybe just slightly calmer) you can be after the first 30 days, too.
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