I've honestly been having a difficult time coming up with any motivation to write for this blog lately. Part of it is probably imposter syndrome - thinking I have nothing to add to the much needed and important conversations that are happening all over the world. I also think like many of us, my own stress responses have been so heightened with all the intense emotions, that my initial reaction is to just avoid EVERYTHING...even when it's something I enjoy (like writing, or other hobbies of mine).
But that got me thinking: how is my natural response to stress actually adding to my overall stress level? It's basically a self-fulfilling prophecy - I tend to shut down all outside stimuli to "reset" my anxiety (which at first is a useful self-care tool). But doing this for long periods of time can actually result in not so positive outcomes, such as isolation, avoidance, or depressive symptoms. And because humans naturally want to live in community, too much isolation (even for introverts) can be detrimental for our own mental health. I feel like I'm always trying to find that "sweet spot" between healthy boundaries and self-care, while also not falling into avoiding and letting life pass me by. Again, anything in excess can be unhealthy; so if you're like me and naturally want to be a homebody or crave lots of alone time, it might be useful to challenge that desire once in a while.
So the question is: what do you do when you are so motivated to unpack your privilege, learn more about racism and other oppressive systems, speak out on behalf of marginalized identities....and yet you find yourself at times not motivated to take care of you?? Well, by looking at my first two paragraphs of this blog post, I think it's safe to say the answer for me can be found by slowing down & reflecting inward.
Thankfully, I haven't fully been neglecting this area of my life (for some reason my motivation to do actual "work" work on this Monday was lacking, but not necessarily in the self-care realm). :) Some of the things I've been getting more into involve the spiritual aspects of my life - increasing the regularity of my meditation practice, journaling, learning about and using tarot cards, astrology, and crystals for healing and reflection. Starting this month I started following the lunar cycle, and have been deeply interested in setting new moon intentions and rituals during specific moon phases for manifesting (love, money, good vibes, etc). This might sound "woo-woo-y" but it really is extremely laid back and simple (at least for me). Below is a very mini set up of an impromptu self-love meditation practice I did just yesterday: 10 minutes using a guided meditation app, burning sage for cleansing, holding a rose quartz crystal, lighting an essential oil candle, followed by pulling a tarot card and journaling on how it spoke to me that day and the themes showing up in my life. I'm currently working on creating an "altar" (aka a cute shelf to place all my crystals and fun things on) but for now my bedroom and/or living room can be transformed into a safe space as needed.
Because I am so new to this "witchy" stuff, I plan on writing & sharing future blog posts describing my experiences learning and having fun with it, but also with the goal to not culturally appropriate someone else's' spiritual beliefs. I was just talking to clients today at work that for me, how I view spirituality is much more fluid than the messages I was originally raised with (Catholic). There are definitely still things I resonate with from the church, but I also am really drawn to specific Buddhist traditions, in addition to other sects of Christianity, (including non-denominational). Basically, my motto for most organized religions is "Don't be a dick;" and if you live your life with compassion, empathy and serve kindness, to me that's more connected to your higher power/intuition than just observing mass once per week.
If you're like me and are interested in exploring more, I'd recommend podcasts (no surprise there) such as Glow Girl, Basic Witches, and Sunday School at Modern Mystic Shop - these have all inspired me to tap into my own intuition by hearing other "modern women" be curious on these topics. I also follow a lot of social media accounts and read books by women I admire, whom also come from varying beliefs and backgrounds. And if you were raised God-fearing like me and need to hear this, here ya go: IT IS OKAY to change your religion or spirituality practice as you get older! I spent so much time in my early 20's fearing that I was "sinning" or that my family or friends would look down on me for exploring other options. And what I've noticed is that in all that stress, I probably missed out on a few years where I could have gained valuable insight into my own true self. But, like a wise supervisor of mine once said: "You don't know what you know, until you know it!" So just as ask myself on the daily - I challenge you, too, to be open to whatever life throws at you, even if that means changing your mind.
I can't wait to report back on how my goals and intentions come to fruition this month - stay tuned!!
"It's your place in the world; it's your life.
Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live."
--Mae Jemison
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*FULL DISCLOSURE: I definitely do not want to come off as ANY sort of expert on one topic, but rather, an expert of my own observations and curiosities. :)
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