Trust Me I'm a (mom)(yogi) RD

It's mid-December, so that means we are well into the holiday season by now.  Both Halloween and Thanksgiving have come and gone; now the countdown to Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa (and don't forget New Year's) begins.   Unless you've found the secret to avoid all the diet messaging out there, chances are you've actually been inundated with "holiday dieting tips" instead. Back when I worked in a grocery store setting, the fall and winter months were actually a slow time of year [company wide] for dietitians - the assumed rationale by management being "Well, who wants to be HEALTHY over the holidays anyways!?"  As naïve as this sentence sounds (and very one dimensional of what a nutrition expert actually does), it was the narrative we were told.  So instead, we filled our days with food demos, store tours, or holiday-themed cooking classes.  On the off-chance a customer act...

After coming off the 'high' of my first therapy appointment in almost two years, I figured it was time for yet another {short and sweet} post.  So if you're reading this, you also need to hear this: SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH! I know I've written about this topic in other posts, but I truly believe in this statement (though easier said than done). It may sound ridiculous, but even during my therapy appointment, the entire time my brain was spewing off self-criticisms like "You don't need this! You're not 'sick enough' or 'worthy enough' to receive therapy."  My negative self talk was literally trying to tell me I needed to earn  therapy...how ridiculous is that!? But after an hour of both tears and feeling refreshed (those of you who go to therapy will understand the irony), I decided to spend the rest of my PTO day doing exactly what I want.  I'm scheduled to attend a yoga class for this afternoon, I'm going to...

"Stop being a worrywart!" "Nothing's wrong with you!" "You're such a hypochondriac!" "Why are you so scared of everything?!" "Abbie's so sensitive!" "You're so weird!" I heard all of these statements (in addition to many, many others) most of my childhood.  What I didn't know then - and only learned much later - was that I've been suffering with undiagnosed anxiety my entire life.  But growing up in an Irish-Catholic family, I learned pretty early on that we don't talk about our feelings - instead, we push them down, and forget they ever existed. So it's not surprising that I didn't have the vocabulary to completely explain what was going on in my growing, anxious-wired brain.  It wasn't until 6th grade, when I was forced to receive therapy for my eating disorder, that I started taking anti-depressants - and yet it still didn't click until my adult life that my...

Vulnerability is scary as hell.  And yet, I think one of the most vulnerable ways a person can be with someone else is to share a piece of their art or creativity.  I know once I share these poems, I may cringe with regret, or believe these aren't perfect enough from the many I have in my journal.  But at the end of the day, these poems are a part of me and are expressing more than probably even I'll ever know. It's been so good to get back to writing, and hope you enjoy :) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anxiety Is like a heavy void, That nothing can satisfy. It feels as if the  whole earth Is weighing deep at my core; And I am barely breathing.   I gasp, but I cannot get air. I reach, but No one catches me. I scream, but I go unheard. I try to live, but I am not living.   "Anxiety is..." -------------------...

I discussed this topic with clients in Body Image group last week, and I was met with A LOT of resistance.  Not because they didn't like the question per say, but because it brings up a lot of emotional 'baggage' that many clients in residential eating disorder treatment are just not ready to process. But I gotta say, I find this question fascinating!  I originally connected this idea after reading the chapter "It's Not About the Food" from the book 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder (written by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb).  After asking the reader ' How is your relationship with food?' the next paragraph followed: "Your approach to both food and relationships will have similarities because of your temperament and who you are.  Think for a minute about how you are with food.  Are you cautious?  Are you bold?  Do you try to be in control?  Do you fear you will never get enough?  Now a...

Well....it really has been awhile since my last blog post!  So today, I figured I should commemorate another year around the sun with even just a small piece of writing, since I feel I've neglected the blog for some time. If you haven't guessed, yesterday was my big 2-9 birthday!  I remember growing up always looking forward to turning 28, as this would be my golden birthday (August 28th).  Now that I've surpassed that age, it makes me somewhat humble, nostalgic (and if I'm being 100% honest) a little bit nervous for growing older. But I can't complain about yesterday, because it was lovely.  I spent the majority of the day doing what I love - fighting off diet culture and being present for my clients.  (What also helped was picking out some delectable donuts to share with my fellow coworkers).  They were hot, fresh & made to order...but best of all they were DELICIOUS.  Definitely going to give Duck Do...

I, like most people, originally got into yoga for the physicality aspect.   I grew up as a dancer, and I naively thought "Well, yoga is the next best thing!"   Little did I know how much growth and knowledge this practice would actually fulfill in my life. When I walked into a studio for the first time, I immediately got the sense that there were "cliques" just like any other group of people with common interests and passions.  There were the self-proclaimed 'yogis' who would have the latest yoga gear or the cutest clothes - they would simultaneously be doing handstands while talking about 'yogi things' (I'm generalizing here) to their BFF on the mat next to them - *in the center of the front row, of course!*  As a newbie, it was extremely intimidating!  While I typically rolled my eyes at this kind of inner circle stuff, for some reason I made my next challenge to become friends with these cool people. ...

Last night I was reading an excerpt from my copy  Yoga and Body Image: 25 Personal Stories about Beauty, Bravery, & Loving Your Body and I came upon the following quote:  "You teach best what you most need to learn." . . . Wow... This resonated with me so much - and not just in the aspect as a yoga teacher - but as a dietitian, and really any other interpersonal experience I've had.  For example, when I'm counseling a client, I often validate their experiences because 1)  I've been there before, or 2) The message is something I should be hearing loud and clear. I mean if you think about it, anytime you're passionate about a topic, the message you are spreading to others is going to resonate back with you in some way, shape or form.  I'm not sure if my clients believe me or not, but when we do 1-on-1 counseling, or when I lead Body Image group, I inform them I get JUST. AS. MUCH positivity or energy...

I recently recorded a podcast on the topic of weight stigma, health at every size, body image & binge eating disorder.  While I am ecstatic with how the conversation turned out, I was a little bummed that an important segment piece was cut out of the final edits.  This is because it is a much needed - and DIFFICULT - conversation to have; and it happens to be around 'Why body positivity isn't accessible to everyone.' This topic is something that I’ve been humbled by & have been reflecting on a lot lately, because of course we’d like to think that body positivity is just that – all positive – and it’s just not the case. In fact, there has been a lot of criticism that this movement is being co-opted by the dieting industry, and coining the term "wellness" as the newest fad diet…….or companies will use #bodypositvity on an ad for a new dieting technique. There’s also been criticism that body positivity is clouding its precurso...

I used to be solely Pro Life... ...And growing up a God-fearing Catholic will do that to you.  I was naively led to believe that any person who chooses to have an abortion is irresponsible, sleeps around, is selfish, and uses this medical procedure as a form of birth control.  I was taught that if you receive an abortion, you are a MURDERER, no questions asked. But then I grew up.  And learned about feminism, sexism, equality/inequality, privilege, and a boatload of other eye opening topics.   My conservative upbringing started clashing with my more liberal learned experiences.  I began having this strange internal conflict and questioning my morals - while I became a mom and found this newfound love that little humans can bring, what did that make of me being *okay* with someone else's choice? So as I continued to grow (and learn) my naivety made its presence known once again.  I realized that while I ...

Do you have any hobbies that you do just for fun, without putting any crazy expectations on yourself?  Maybe it's dance, or art, or singing....or reading, writing, building....or maybe you cook, bake or design...repair cars, ride horses, produce music, or invent new gadgets....(you get the picture).   I used to think if I wasn't  great at something, then for some reason I internalized I wasn't allowed to do it.  As a kid I gave up on any form of art because I felt I wasn't supremely artistic like my family members or friends.  I wouldn't even join a club or take up a new leisurely activity unless I knew I'd be somewhat successful at it.  Pretty limiting, huh? Even activities I've been told I excel at have been affected at some point in my life.   Prior to most recently, I hadn't written a poem or any other form of creative writing in God knows how long (very Midwestern saying, I know).  And this is some...

Image taken from Poetry and Feminism website. Illustration by Shyama Golden.     Whoever told you your body was shameful is a LIAR. Because guess what? My body does not have to apologize for EXISTING.   That new diet or weight loss strategy is a HOAX. Reality says otherwise: Those numbers and calories are IRRELEVANT. Girl, you don't need to read the menu.   The history books may write us off as emotional, hysterical, and UNIMPORTANT. Yet our bodies are put on pedestals For others to judge or compliment, Like that's the only part of us that's of VALUE.   The patriarchy would rather   SILENCE us . Internalizing their belief that "We don't matter." When in fact we should be WORSHIPPED. As we have the power to continue this humanity, ...or not.   To all the rad women: you are BRAVE; you are SENSATIONAL; and you are ENOUGH. One day they will be screaming from the mountain t...